Not a hero (I am I?)
by Nita Wolf
Summary: Lydia Lily Potter was supposed to be a light witch,she was supposed to be a naive girl for Albus Dumbledore to manipulate as he saw fit but fate has other plans. (Femeharry!) (Werewolf Harry ) (slight albus Dumbledore bashing)
1. Chapter 1: The beginning

Title: Not a Hero (I am I?)

first of all, I would like to thank Animalium for beta-ing my story, you rock girl!

Disclaimer: I don't own this story,  
Jk Rowling does

"please no! Not my Lydia! Take me instead " please!

The voice screamed, a woman stood shielding a child, they both sported red hair, the woman let out a scream as a jet of green light hit her square in the chest causing Lydia to wake up in her small cramped space she was given by her 'family '.

Lydia always knew she was different, she looked and acted so differently than the other kids to the point where she was bullied, her cousin Dudley would torment her endlessly, throwing rocks at her and calling her 'carrot hair'.

The teachers barely reacted let alone punished the kids, she would go back home where she would be ignored by her uncle and made to do chores for her aunt.

Lydia never knew why her aunt acted the way she did, she was always cold and uncaring when it came to her niece and smothered her own baby with so much love leaving the redhead sobbing silently in her cupboard under the stairs.

"WAKE UP GIRL!" bellowed a voice after a few hours, it was obviously aunt Petunia from the sound of it, the woman tapped on the cupboard's wooden door for more effect.  
" yes aunt" mumbled a drowsy Lydia, following her aunt to the kitchen, Today was Dudley's fifth birthday, Lydia never had a birthday party and felt a spark of Jealousy light in her chest while watching her aunt fret about, wanting her Duddykin's birthday to be perfect, the young redhead was soon put to work, cleaning after her aunt as the older woman baked a gorgeous cake Lydia knew she would never taste.

" Once you are done cleaning start cooking breakfast and make sure the bacon is exactly how my Duddykin likes it!" ordered Petunia who marched upstairs to wake her child up.  
The young redhead was just setting the plates on the table, ignoring the mountain of gifts destined to Dudley when said boy bounded down the stairs, pushing his cousin away from the table and proceeded on stuffing his face with the food.  
"We're going to the circus to have my birthday party right? " asked the child as his parents sat on each side of their clearly overweight child who resembled his pig of a father, Lydia, of course, was dismissed with a harsh 'shoo' from her uncle'.  
So she waited for them to finish their breakfast, who knows? She might find some leftovers to quell her hunger.  
"there's no way we'll take her with us! She'll ruin everything like the freak she is!" Bellowed Vernon as he paced around in another room, Mrs Figg was out visiting her relatives, they could and would not leave the freak in the house, their only option was to take her with them, Dudley was quick to show his distaste despite him being just five, the ride to the circus was a tense one, making the young girl wish she was left home, she would have been able to sneak some food into her 'room ' and rest for a while.

They ditched her.

Of course, they would leave her behind, why didn't she see it coming?  
They paid for the fees but ignored her completely, making the child happy since she could go around where she wanted and even made her way to the cages where the animals were kept.

"so beautiful.." she whispered softly, walking around the cages as she marvelled at the beasts sprawled in their cages, she played with the monkeys and show horses who nipped at her curious hands, a few sparks of magic escaped her delicate hands as she caressed a dangerous looking lion who barely paid attention to her, she fed The caged Elephant a few Peanuts She found on the floor and giggled softly when the animal shot the shells out of the cage, she was having so much fun!

Of course the fun did not last, she heard the bellowing voice of her uncle who searched for her, his face was in a deep shade of purple as he reached for her, the circus employees took pity of the child dressed in baggy boy shorts and did their best to calm him down, but to no avail, he dragged her to the car and drove home, they yelled at her along the way, claiming that she had ruined everything as usual, but as the man ranted on and on, not paying attention to the road, he was so upset with the little freak to the point where he swerved into the opposite lane where a truck faced them. All they could hear was honking, the loud sound of tires skidding across the road then...

Nothing.


	2. Chapter 2 : Guilt

chapter 2: Guilt

White...  
All she could see was white and noises around her, she could hear people rushing around them, the sirens were blaring around the crash site at full force,she felt hands warping around her thin body and lifted her into a stretcher,but the effort of opening her eyes robbed her of her consciousness, lulled by the voices talking around her.

She was in a hospital, the smell and the monotonous colors were a clear indication of where she was, there was a nurse standing next to her bed who looked at her with a smile of relief on her face.  
"Oh sweety, I'm glad to see you up, you got a bit banged up in the accident, but thank god it's nothing serious! " she explained gently.

"but your cousin has a broken leg and bruised ribs, he'll have to stay for a while" she added, noticing how silent the redhead was.

The nurse looked like she wanted to add something but held it back, smiling at the child and left in a hurry.  
Lydia stood up after a while, she was glad that the doctors had unhooked her from the machines next to her bed, she walked around in a hospital gown, worry etched on her face as she searched for her uncle and aunt, she was in deep trouble now.

"I..I'm sorry, where are my uncle and aunt?" she asked a doctor who ran into her.  
"Their names little girl?" Asked the doctor impatiently, but his gaze softened when she uttered their names.  
"Oh little one, I'm sorry, your uncle..he's in a better place... and your aunt..she's fighting to stay here with you and your cousin" he whispered softly, guiding the now sobbing redhead to a chair.

She was conflicted,in one hand she was glad that her uncle was gone, he was mean and hated her,but on the other hand he was dead because of her, if she had stayed close to the Dursleys her uncle would have been alive, her aunt wouldn't be critically injured and her cousin wouldn't be hurt, Yes it was all her fault, she was a freak after all.

She stood up after a while, eyes puffy with tears as she wandered around the hospital aimlessly, the staff seemed to ignore the child, rushing around to do their job, but no-one noticed the child slip into the Emergency room, no one noticed the child gasp at the broken and bruised body hooked to loud machines, she approached her aunt with tears streaming down her small cheeks, the child then backed away and ran out of the room,through the busy hallway and into the streets, she took one last glance at the hospital and ran into the dark and unforgiving streets.


	3. Chapter 3 :The streets

Chapter 3: The streets

the morning sun rose on the foggy town that was London, it's ray barely penetrating the solid fog the city was well known for.

The streets were empty, people were either not up yet or about to head to bed when a figure emerged from behind a dumpster, it was a girl, not older than Six and dressed in a dirty Hospital gown.  
She was as thin as a stick, Dirt covered her face and hair despite her only being in the streets for a few days.  
The child had tried everything, she begged for food, attempted to help people carry their stuff only to be kicked away and called a thief.  
And a thief she became, she wasn't sure how she managed to do it but she was able to nick a few coins, a wallet, and a pocket watch, Lydia was caught once, and only once, and that beating was something she was never going to forget.

It was her second time stealing, she had followed a young man to a shop and did her *magic trick* which was levitating the object From the pocket to her small palm, what she did not expect was for the man to turn around and notice his wallet in her small hand.  
"WHY YOU LITTLE THIEF! YOU THINK YOU CAN ROB ME AYE?" He bellowed angrily, his hand moved too fast for her to see let alone dodge, his palm left a swelling red mark on her face and kicked her in his rage, this was a usual sight for the people around him as a large number of street children resorted to pickpocketing in order to live.

The man had left her bleeding and bruised on the busy streets, only moving when an angry merchant bellowed at her to get moving, but the lesson was now branded in Lydia's small mind, 'don't get caught '  
she spent the next few hours just wandering around, she was hungry, tired and sleepy but the fear of the unknown kept her wide awake.  
"Hey sweetie, are ya loooost or sonethin..?" Slurred a voice as a hand was laid on her shoulder,this was a dark side of London, home to drug addicts, prostitutes and other nauseating practices, but Lydia knew none of that, she just marched onward,fear was slowly creeping up her heart as she took notice of the people around her, they were bars and brothels crammed in small rundown buildings, somewhere almost abandoned from the state they were in, the majority of the windows were broken.  
She was cut off from her studying by the hand moving from her shoulder to her chest, the owner of that hand pressed against her small body.  
"Common..iama..ima havea goodtime with ya" he slurred, the man stunk of alcohol and piss, making Lydia gag and attempt to push him away from her.  
"Pl..please get away from me.. " she cried, her mind was in overdrive, she had to get away..away!

The streets were almost empty, as it was closing time for such establishments, the people were pissed drunk and ignored the pair.  
She kicked, bit and punched as hard as she could but the man did not leave.  
he ripped her hospital gown in one swift movement,his eyes were fixated on her dirty alabaster skin as he undid his belt, the drunk man pinned her to the ground and proceeded to push inside of her, ignoring her cries and begging as he took what he wanted, grunting and moaning from the pleasure h felt.  
he stood up after orgasming, throwing few pounds at her and left her naked with two notes of five pounds making Lydia's eyes widen, she was still in shock from the pain but scrambled to take the money.  
maybe... maybe she could make a living of it.


	4. Chapter 4 :The streets 2

**_Disclaimer:_ I don't own this story**

_**And a big thank you to my dear Animalium for Beta reading whatever I manage to write, You are the best**_

**Chapter 4: The streets 2**

"Too many holes  
To short  
Too baggy  
Too dirty..aha!" shot a small voice triumphantly startling a few clothing company employees who were in charge of discarding the defective clothing but they did not expect to find a short redheaded child in the middle of the dumpster, the workers were aware of how rotten the system was, they knew how much children suffered in and out of foster care so they acted as if the child was not there.  
Said child was happily walking away with a large smile on her face, clad in black shorts with torn cuffs, a white shirt that had a few bleach stains, making her red hair stand out more than before.  
Watching the town come to life was slowly becoming one of Lydia's favourite things to do, she simply walked around town and fished food from garbage bins, *people are so wasteful* she thought as she pulled a very nice half-eaten sandwich and a bottle of juice,she repeated the action with a few more bins and was able to feel full for the first time in her life.  
People ignored her, she was a dirty barefoot child with clothes fished out of a bin, Marking her as a 'street urchin ' and was given looks of distaste, moving their children away from her. But she continued on walking, head held high with a sad smile on her face.  
Her small dirty feet had led her back THERE, the run down buildings were slowly coming back to life, bars and other attractions that brought people in droves making Lydia think about the night before, she had refused to spend her money, but perhaps she could make more then. The problems were the lack of kids her age and the adults throwing her dirty looks, she clearly did not belong here but ignored everything, 10 pounds a night was enough for her, hell she might even find a house somehow! Her childish innocence peaking with the thoughts of a nice house of her own.  
"Hey little girl,you're not supposed to be in this place, where are your parents?" asked a soft voice behind her, Lydia turned around and tilted her head in curiosity, the voice belonged to a woman no older than twenty, she was dressed in skimpy clothing and a face full of makeup all framed by long locks of golden hair reminding Lydia of the first rays of sun after a night of rain, sharp blue eyes studied her head tilted as well, both girls seemed to assess the other.  
" well?" pushed the woman, her curiosity was certainly peaked, she had never seen a child in these parts of the slum, but this one..this one was odd, she was a street rat of course but..she wasn't broken, her next words confirmed her musing.  
" My parents died when I was young and I'm searching for work" replied the young girl, Malena was In shock, they certainly did not start this young!  
"Look, kid, this is not a game, you don't know what you're saying!" warned Malena who grabbed Lydia by the arm and led her into a small room for privacy, she will definitely call the child protective services.  
Lydia followed the older blonde into the small simply decorated room, she knew that the blonde would not be understanding so she decided to make her understand, she sat on a chair facing Malena and started explaining herself.  
"My name is Lydia, I'll be six in a few months and my family are dead, I was in the streets for a few weeks now and yesterday a man hurt me by doing something to me, I know it was wrong but it got me 10 pounds, I would like to keep doing it till I'm able to care for myself."  
Malena was frozen during the girl's speech, the child was too calm, too logic for her age, she was sitting comfortably on that chair, her head held high and her emerald eyes shining with the prospect of the independence she could get.  
"I'm afraid that I do not have the authority to takes such decision, you will have to wait for the mistress of the house to come'  
Lydia nodded her head and watched the blonde girl's retreating figure.

" What did you say? a child? wants to work here? it's impossible! children aren't supposed to be whores!, TAKE ME TO THAT CHILD!" barked a voice making Malena tremble from the sheer authority that was Luna mistress of the Red den brothel


	5. Author notes

**Author Notes:**

Thank you for the long wait

I, unfortunately, have to drop this story as i am working on its rewrite and no longer feel the story anymore

thank you for your support


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